Positive affirmations are really cheesy and and generally kind of suck. A friend of mine pointed out that adding “fucking” to an affirmation instantly makes it AWESOME.
Original: I am a winner.
Feeling: Eh, Idk if I believe, in fact this is making me feel like the opposite and the whole godforsaken point of these things is to feel better.
Version 2.0: I AM A FUCKING WINNER!
Feeling: OH, SHIT YEAH. I AM TOTES A FUCKING WINNER!!1!!1
It also helps to say them to yourself in all CAPS. You know, to really drive the point home.
My personal affirmation is
I AM A FUCKING CYBORG.
I am very much prepared to undergo immediate bio-mechanical surgery at any fucking time. I have two requirements.
1. There needs to be at least 1 flame thrower upgrade.
2. My tattoos need to be replicated on my new mecha limbs.