beetleginny:

baital:

nethilia:

fuckyeahnerdpr0n:

always reblog “good guy satan” meme

chill ass bitch

I will always reblog this for Lucifer cover art.

I’ve always said, Lucifer is a people person. He wants you to have what you want.

63,237 notes

cheese > others

(Source: peteneems)

75,483 notes

I am turning 30 in a relatively short amount of time and I am pleased to announce that I have made it this far without murdering anyone.

I think there is a statistic somewhere that says you are way more likely to get murdered by someone you know vs. someone you don’t know. I don’t mean to brag but I know a smattering of people.

If you are one of the people I know, you are welcome for not murdering you.

Even though some of you really deserve it.

JUST KIDDING!!1!!

But for reals, I am not going to murder you. Unless like you try to murder me first in which case IT’S ON. But otherwise you are safe. This isn’t because I am this really nice person, it’s because I don’t want to go through the ordeal of getting arrested and the nightmare circus that is the criminal justice industry. I would most likely just kill myself after the alleged murder to save myself the hassle. This is, of course, all hypothetical.

Again I say, you’re welcome!

I would just like to go on record and state that if you are against vaccines and show up in any of my social media I will relentlessly troll you.

RELENTLESSLY, I WILL TROLL YOU.

You have been warned.

2 notes

I live on the third floor in my apartment complex. I hear things happen in the neighborhood, but a lot of times it’s muddled or I only understand about half of what’s being said/shouted/screamed.

On Saturday morning two guys were moving stuff. I know this because I heard half of the conversation that this dude was hollaring at his side kick.

"THIS IS REALLY HEAVY"

-silence-

"IT’S OKAY, I GOT IT"

-silence-

"TAKE YOUR TIME MAN, WE GOT ALL DAY"

-silence-

This went on for like 20 minutes. At minute 20 my curiosity won and I had to go scowl at this moron. (I only hated the guy who was loud). I pictured some 20 something year old neon bro with a slogan shirt. I was greeted by a 40 year old man in dad shorts. Mild surprise.

There is a lot of construction happening in my neighborhood and I hate all of them. I know they are just doing their job, but their job wakes me up a lot and the roads still look like shit. I could maybe forgive them if it looked like actual improvements were happening but there are still a million pot holes and sidewalks that look like demons were trying to crawl out from under them. Sometimes if I get stuck behind one of the trucks on my way to work I think, “OH SO THIS IS WHERE MY TAX DOLLARS ARE GOING” and then right after that I hate myself because that sentence is really embarrassing.I brush it off like I am just being ironically clever. Then I remember that no one can hear my thoughts and I am also alone.

I am not going to wear pants for the rest of the evening because I am an adult and that is allowed.

2 notes

newyorker:

What distinguishes a selfie from an artist’s self-portrait? Look through a selection of photographs: http://nyr.kr/1hzvpEZ
Above: Jun Ahn, “Self-Portrait” (2008)/Courtesy Christophe Guye Galerie, Zürich

newyorker:

What distinguishes a selfie from an artist’s self-portrait? Look through a selection of photographs: http://nyr.kr/1hzvpEZ

Above: Jun Ahn, “Self-Portrait” (2008)/Courtesy Christophe Guye Galerie, Zürich

(Source: newyorker.com)

2,441 notes

I get very nervous being around only white people. Its really only a matter of time before someone says something wildly racist.  Double points if they start with, “Im not racist, but-“.

Yes. Yes you are.

5 notes

Today is brought  to you by not murdering everyone in sight because someone used the last of the coffee without fucking replacing it.

I can feel the rage moving under my skin.

2 notes

Anonymous said: Your blog is pretty cool! I see you were trying to quit smoking and if you have, good job! If not, then I hope you lowered your number of smoke breaks! <3

Thank you! I actually did quit smoking. My last one was on Thanksgiving 2013. I sometimes really miss those cancer sticks, but that’s the part of my brain that wants to kill me. I try to not listen to that part very often. 80% I really like being alive and that’s really good for a misanthrope.

theremina:

EDIT (12/17/13, 3:45pm): Within hours of this post going viral, I received a call from Helen Moore, the CSD for . It was a good call. They’re paying attention. They want to fix this. I don’t know what will happen with the driver who laughed and shook my harasser’s hand, but…

Not okay not okay not okay not okay not okay.

FUCKING STOP DOING THIS SHIT TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS.

I love you, Mer.

6,386 notes